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Things I’ve Heard About Dating that I Don’t Like – Here’s Why

10/14/2014

I’ve got a few friends who are currently in the dating game, and they are really struggling with it. Most of them are guys (I know a lot of guys) but a few are girls, but regardless of the gender there are some things that people have said about the opposite gender that are simply not true. Call them myths or misnomers or what you will, but they are ridiculous, and here is why:

1) Girls only want a jerk/Nice guys finish last – Girls don’t want a jerk; they want a gentleman. This is not to be confused with a doormat, though. A gentleman knows what he wants, he is confident in himself and his manhood, and although he finds it wonderful to be courteous to women he does not let them run over him. A lot of the guys I know forget that you can be kind and sweet to a girl without letting her get away with murder. Good boundaries are necessary and should be enforced in any relationship – romantic or otherwise – and along with straightforward communication creates a comfortable place for a relationship to grow.

2) Love is a game – If love is a game then you will always lose it sooner or later. Whenever I play a game I win it the first few times, then I lose horribly, then I win again, and so it goes. However, whenever I decided to look for someone to fill the role of “boyfriend” I managed to find it quickly. As such, you will find what you are looking for, and if you are playing the “love game” then you will find other people playing it, too, and those relationships rarely seem to work out. Perhaps if you stop playing you will find someone else who is also serious about their relationships and you guys will actually have a chance.

3) Guys only want skinny girls – What a cop out! Most guys really don’t care about how a girl looks as long as she’s fun to hang out with and has a good sense of humor. I’ve noticed that it’s mostly girls who get hung up on the whole weight issue, and that guys with any form of maturity tend not to care.

4) Girls only want guys with big penises – This one actually mirrors myth #3 in that wiener size is more a guy thing than a woman thing. Ultimately, if you find a girl who loves you then the battle is over half won. I’ve noticed that women who sleep around tend to care more about penis size, but people who are in a monogamous relationship care more about the person they are with than the size of their genitalia and the emotional connection with their significant other allows for better sex in the long run. It actually creates a different chemical response in the brain that makes intercourse with a person you are in love with much better.

5) Men only go for bitches – Although this is similar to the first myth, again it is not quite the same. Men find women who are bitches, but how long do they stay together? If the endgame is to find someone to spend your life with, then the guy who goes for bitches will lose. This brings up two questions: are you being a doormat and are you actually putting yourself out there? Because we mostly expect guys to make the first move, it becomes pretty obvious when they are looking for a relationship. Girls, however, have to show that they are interested by initiating eye contact or using open body language to show we are open to being approached. Approaching someone for the first time is a scary thing regardless of gender, so communicating an willingness to be approached either silently or aloud will move things along nicely.

Of course, these are just suggestions and are only my opinion. What do you think some common myths are about dating?

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